Episode 112: Say The Thing

Sometimes healing starts with the thing you’re most afraid to say out loud.

In this episode of herspective, Jillian and Andrea get vulnerable about the truths they had to acknowledge in order to move forward from some of the hardest seasons of their lives. From naming emotional abuse and betrayal trauma to confronting shame, self-blame, and the feeling of failure that can come when a relationship ends, they explore why giving language to our experiences can be such an important part of healing.

Jillian opens up about the discomfort she still feels naming what happened in a past relationship, the ways she minimized behaviors that hurt her, and why acknowledging those experiences became necessary to rebuild her sense of worth and recognize what she would never accept again. Andrea shares her experience with betrayal trauma after the end of her marriage, including the self-blame that followed and the work it took to separate someone else’s choices from her own worthiness.

They also talk about what “saying the thing” can actually look like. It doesn’t always mean sharing your story publicly—or even saying it out loud. Sometimes it’s a conversation with a therapist or trusted friend. Sometimes it’s journaling, writing a letter you’ll never send, creating art, praying, or simply being willing to admit the truth to yourself.

The conversation also turns to the role faith played in both of their healing journeys: bringing anger, grief, shame, and questions to God; navigating moments of doubt; and learning that faith doesn’t require pretending everything is okay.

This is an honest conversation about the things we carry quietly, the stories we minimize, and the freedom that can come when we finally give ourselves permission to name them. Because sometimes saying the thing is where healing begins.