Episode 111: How To Be A Friend

What does it really mean to be a good friend—especially when someone you love is walking through one of the hardest seasons of their life?

In Episode 111 of herspective, Jillian and Andrea get personal about the friendships that carried them through heartbreak, divorce, major life transitions, and the moments when simply getting through the day felt hard. They reflect on the people who showed up in ways they’ll never forget—and the friendships that revealed their limitations when life got messy.

Because sometimes, “Let me know if you need anything” isn’t enough.

From booking a last-minute flight and answering the 2 a.m. phone call to dropping off flowers, sending an Uber Eats gift card, making the perfect comeback playlist, or simply sitting beside someone when there are no words to make things better, Jillian and Andrea share the gestures that made them feel genuinely seen and supported.

But being a good friend isn’t always about making someone feel better. Sometimes friendship means being willing to say the uncomfortable thing. They talk about the friends who called them out, challenged unhealthy patterns, refused to accept the polished “PR version” of how they were doing, and became the mirror they needed during seasons when they couldn’t see things clearly themselves.

They also explore the difference between listening and problem-solving, why asking “Do you want me to listen, or do you want a solution?” can completely change a conversation, and what to say when you genuinely have no idea how to help someone through something you’ve never experienced.

And there’s another side to receiving support: you have to be supportable. Your friends can’t read your mind. Jillian and Andrea talk about learning to ask for help, allowing other people to see when things aren’t okay, and recognizing that vulnerability is part of giving the people who love you the opportunity to actually show up.

Hard seasons can also reveal hard truths about friendship. Not every friendship is meant for every season, and the people who can sit beside you in your greatest misery—and genuinely celebrate you in your greatest joy—often show you exactly what a friendship is made of.

Episode 111 is a conversation about showing up, checking in, paying attention, speaking the truth, letting yourself be supported, and finding tangible ways to remind the people you love of something we all need to hear sometimes:

I see you. I know you. And I’m here.

And if you happen to have a friend who could use a little refresher on how to show up? Maybe just send them this episode. 👀