Episode 110: Bad Advice

What’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given—and how long did it take you to realize you probably shouldn’t have listened?

In this episode of herspective, Jillian and Andrea are unpacking some of the well-intentioned advice we hear about relationships, breakups, healing, faith, following our dreams, and moving forward—and asking whether some of it might actually be doing more harm than good.

They start with one of the classic breakup clichés: “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.” But jumping from one relationship or situationship into another can leave very little room to process what happened, understand your own patterns, or simply learn how to be alone again. Especially during seasons of transition, slowing down might be exactly what you need.

Then there’s revenge. The revenge body. The glow-up. The desire to become so happy, successful, or attractive that the person who hurt you regrets losing you. It can feel empowering—but if your transformation is still about getting someone else’s attention, are you actually centering yourself?

Maybe the better goal is to become so focused on your own life that you stop caring whether they’re watching at all.

From going no contact and protecting access to your life to rediscovering the parts of yourself you may have lost along the way, Jillian and Andrea talk about what it looks like to stop performing your healing for someone else and start doing it for yourself.

They also get into the advice that tells us to “follow your heart” or simply “do what makes you happy,” why emotions shouldn't be the only thing guiding major decisions, and why pursuing your happiness doesn't give you permission to disregard the impact your choices have on other people.

And what about the people who tell you not to chase the dream at all? Jillian shares what happened after being told at 22 that she was already “too old” to pursue acting—and why getting to say “I did it” matters more than whether the dream ultimately turned out exactly as she imagined.

Ultimately, this episode isn't about never listening to anyone. It's about learning to consider the source, think critically about the advice you're given, and remember that someone else's opinion doesn't automatically deserve authority over your life.

Advice is a suggestion. Someone can hand it to you, and you can put it right back down.

Here’s some good advice: don’t take bad advice.

🎧 AUDIO NOTE: We experienced some technical difficulties while recording this episode and the next few episodes, so you may notice a dip in our usual audio quality for the next four episodes. Thanks for bearing with us—the conversations are still very much worth hearing, and we'll be back to our regularly scheduled sound quality soon. 🤍